All Tangled up!

Yesterday I saw the new Disney movie "Tangled".   It was very cute and funny.  There is a scene in it when Rapunzel and her male protector Flynn Rider walk into a dark and dangerous pub, full of big gruff scary men.  Once these men recognize Flynn Rider as a trouble maker from the past they grab him and start to pummel him.  Rapunzel in an attempt to save her friend calls out to the softer human side of these men.  She uses her feminine heart to inspire them to a better way of life.  Rapunzel continued to encourage those around her in the movie to live better lives, be better people.  It reminded me that as woman we have something very powerful called influence.  Through our words and actions we can inspire those around us.  The way we raise our children will determine what our next generation will look like.  We can influence the men around us to be brave, kind, honorable, and good.  Its amazing the change we can cause in the world.  A good place to start  is in your own family.  Let your Dad know how proud you are of how hard he works to provide for the family.  Let your brother know that he is so brave the when he plays paintball.  Tell your cousins that you appreciate the way they honor woman with their words.   When you speak to the good in people it makes them want to live up to it.  Lets try and build up the men in our life.  Modern culture teaches us to just expect loser fathers who come home from work to sit on the couch and drink beer.  We don't even blink at the disrespectful way men treat and talk about woman.  Guys will be guys! Well I don't accept that. Men are incredible, and we need them to embrace their God given roles.   We both need each other to function as God created us.   For men to be men, woman need to be woman.  And I am still trying figure out what that looks like!

Perfectly Female!

 What does embracing your God designed femininity look like in the 21st century? For a few years now I have been asking myself that question. I want to start writing on this topic that in my opinion is very important. I will be writing it in sections so this is just the start.

  I used to be an adamant "feminist".  I cringed at the word submission, I scowled at the mention of a stay at home mom and I argued with anyone who dare mention gender differences.   In my mind admitting that there was a difference between men and woman was to subject myself to a life time of abuse and tyranny.  I remember boiling with anger when my bible school teacher decided to preach on submission in marriage.  I hated hearing a man preach on woman being feminine.  After all who were they to speak?  Had they ever experienced being a woman today?  Had they ever been horribly mistreated because of their sex?  Had they ever been told they couldn't do the one thing they wanted to more than anything else in the entire world simply because they were a girl?  As I grew up, I also grew bitter.  Little did I know that instead of hating the mistreatment of women throughout history, I was really beginning to hate being a woman.  I hated admitting that I was different from men.  I didn't understand that different could be powerful, I saw different as weak.  Often fighting with my very instincts I was determined to be a "powerful" female.  Sadly that meant gaining control of men in an unhealthy and demeaning way.  I thought I was growing in respect, of course I was doing just the opposite.  Not only that but I was tearing down the men around me to make myself feel stronger.  As time went on my personal relationship with Christ strengthened, and without even realizing it God started to change my heart.  I began to understand that a woman's influence could come in a multitude of different ways.  That her true power and strength came through embracing who God made her as a female. Not with trying to imitate males.   We as females have something unique and specific.  God specifically created us female.  When we are working  within the role God designed for us we will be most fulfilled.  That brings us back to the beginning.  What does embracing our God designed femininity look like today?  I think a good spot to start is how God made us different. But I will save that for next time!

A Fathers Love

This evening my Dad called as he was driving home from work.  He called just to ask us ladies ( mom and three sisters)  whether we wanted any treats.  We went on to list off an order of our  personal choices.  "Chocolate,  milk chocolate, with no nuts." "  Sugar free taffy, the pink kind, not the red." " Ice tea,  that one is the special bottle" " Black Licorice." " Dad get something salty, whatever you think would be good, but not chips, or anything like that, healthy salty!"   An hour later he came home with everything on the list.  We then made him endure a cheesy horror film, as we chatted about the bad 90's clothing.   I looked over at my Dad mid way through the movie, and couldn't help but feel loved.  I have spent a lot of my life oblivious to what a wonderful father I have.  I used to always judge him by other fathers I saw.  In my mind he came up short, not making enough money, not having a very glamorous job, or just being overall too religious.  The last five or so years I have been becoming aware of what an incredible man he is, and how blessed I am.   My Dad is the best example of having a servant heart.  His "less than glamorous" job was what he did to provide for us instead of doing what he was really passionate about.  He has always taken on extra jobs, extra hours just to make sure we could be taken care of. This included him making the choice to sell his truck so he could send me to New York on a school trip.  Or sending me $1000 dollars they couldn't afford each month so that I could chase my dreams of  going to a performing arts collage.  This same "overly religious" father  taught me how to forgive people there worst mistakes.  Like the time he came home to me drunk from drinking all his special birthday beer.  I was 13  and my family left me behind to go to a movie ( I was taking too long to get ready).  I was so mad I had to do something  extra bad, so I grabbed a case of my Dads beer and drank one after the other.  A few minutes after I was finished my Dad walked in our front door.  He apologized for being impatient and leaving me behind.  Then he asked if he could make it up to me by taking me out on a date. I hiccuped and started crying in my drunken stupor " Dad, I drank all your beer and now I'm drunk, *hiccup*".  He gave me a huge hug than took his drunk little daughter out for ice cream!  I  have never forgotten how loved I felt from my dad, he never brought it up again.   My father taught me how to love God more than anything else in your life.  He taught me to always offer the best to others.  He taught me that a great way to care for people is to ask them about their lives and talk to them about what their interests.  My father was always ready to serve my mom in any way needed. He has always honored my mom with his words and actions. I have never questioned his unshakable love for her.   My dad has many more wonderful attributes (along some not so nice ones, no one is perfect) and I am so happy God decided to allow me to be his daughter.   I write all of this so that if you are reading it you can decide to value the people in your life.  There might be someone who you have struggled loving or feeling loved by.  A family member who always gets on your nerves, or a friend who has recently let you down.  Maybe your married and the grass is looking greener on the other side.  But take some time and ask God to show you what he sees in the people who surround your life.  Ask him to show you the good qualities and to have more grace for the bad.  Ask the Lord to heal your past hurts and to help you forgive others mistakes.  You might just find yourself falling in love all over again with the people in your life!

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ~ Voltaire

"This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you." John 15:12-15 New King James Version Bible

And the two shall become one!

This weekend my best friend got married!   Her wedding was beautiful,  I was so honored to be a part of her special day.  The days leading up to it were full of parties, dinners, shopping, packing, decorating and lots of tears and laughter.   One theme that was throughout the entire affair was the couples faith in God.   They both have a strong personal relationship with the Lord. Along with that they both carry themselves with character and integrity.  It was so nice to be at a wedding that you can feel complete peace and joy about.  Now they are off on a month long honeymoon.  I have this next four weeks to get myself ready to be a best friend to a "married" woman.   I am well aware that this changes a lot in our friendship, and it should.   Before she was married my responsibility as her friend was to make sure she was marrying the right guy, making the right choice ( I never had a doubt with this wonderful man).  Now  I need to make sure that I am always supporting their marriage with my words and actions.  To many friends become sounding boards, hearing all that is wrong about the wife/husband.  My responsibility is to make sure my friend never dishonors her husband or shares things that would compromise their security as a couple.  I have to respect their time as a couple.  No longer can I call her up at anytime to drop everything and meet me.  I can't demand a certain amount of time each week with her.  I shouldn't get offended if we have something planned but she has to cancel because her husband needs her.   Also my prayers for her change.  I am now going to be praying for them as a couple.  I will not be praying for whats best for her, but rather whats best for them.  This is so important since marriage doesn't have the best track record in our culture. I would encourage anyone out there that has married friends to ask God how you can support them best.  Also to ask yourselves if you are supporting any destructive marriage behavior in your friends.   I am excited to be a part of this next step in my best friends life!  I am praying that God guides me how to serve them best.

Mark 10:6-8 "But at the beginning of creation God made them male and female.For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,and the two will become one flesh.So they are no longer two, but one."

The Constant Companion

My mom and I are best friends, and I depend on her for a lot emotionally.  I share everything with her, good news, bad news,  and news that really isn't news at all!  I never doubt her love or question whether she will support me or not. But ever since I was a child my mom has told me that although she loves me she can't promise to always be there for me, but that there was someone who would never leave my side, someone who would never let me down or fail me.  She would tell that he would be there through my worst times and that I could never be bad enough to escape his love.  She was talking about God.  My mother was right, and I have had the privilege to experience this many times firsthand.  One of the most intimidating scary experiences of my life I had to face completely alone.  I was competing in a pageant, and I was far away from home.  Everyone had family come out to support them but due to certain circumstances mine could not be there.  As I was about to go onto stage for the final judging night I stood in front of the mirror shaking and thought " I am all alone, there is not one person out there cheering me on. No one is supporting me,  no one out there  believes in me."   Then God spoke to me.  He told me that the King of Kings was in the audience cheering me on. Then he gave me a picture of every one of those chairs in the auditorium being filled with angels and God was seated in the center!  My heavenly family was there.  I went on to win that pageant, but the most special part of that night was walking on stage feeling  my Father God with me!  Today I needed to remind myself of God's faithfulness.  I have had one of those pathetic lonely days.  You know the ones when everything goes wrong and you just have no one to turn to.  So I made the decision to call out to God today, to remember that he hasn't left me.   If you are having a  "life sucks, I want to throw a potato at someones head" days than remember God hasn't left you either.

Isiah 30:18 "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of  justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!"

Thanksgiving

I had an amazing thanksgiving!  Full of family, food, wine, games and lots of laughter.  The best part of thanksgiving this year was that I got to cook the meal all by myself.  I have always wanted to take on this challenge and this year my mom graciously stepped aside.  The day before I baked homemade pumpkin pies and decorated them with with pumpkins and leafs from the leftover crust.  The day of, I made the entire meal including homemade dinner rolls mmmmmmmmm!  We had a full table of relatives and we all sat down at a table my mom decorated enchantingly.  I don't believe I have ever been so thankful on Thanksgiving day.  I was so happy to be around family (even if it did include a couple of fights).  Also I spent a lot of the day dreaming about being a wife and a mother myself one day.  Don't get me wrong I love my life today, as it is. I have huge career goals and love having the freedom of a single girl in the city!  But  I guess as I get older I am staring to realize the joy that can come from serving a family.  Also I am noticing how fast life goes and I am wanting to focus on things that are truly important in life.  So I am praying today that God ,in his timing, will direct me into the things in life that are eternal in value (whatever that looks like). I pray the same for you!

Pouring Your Pain

Today I was listening to Beth Moore's   "A True You" sermon.  One point really stood out to me. She states that when most of us need to pour out ( emotions, anxieties etc.) we instead pour in (food, alcohol, activity, etc.).  It's so true!  When I am stressed about something I automatically grab the  fattiest sugar filled thing in the house and start munching away.  It always gives me a slight feeling of peace, but that is followed up by a painful bellyache and regret.  I do the same thing with books. Not such an unhealthy choice but still not facing the issue at hand.  It's a  scary choice to face every negative emotion and to bring them to the Lord.  It's much easier to "pour it in" instead of "pour it out".   It may be easier, but the outcome isn't positive.  Can you imagine how much stronger your relationship with the Lord would be if you regularly brought your thoughts and feelings before him? So that's my challenge for you today!  I will be taking the challenge as well.  Lets try and bring our worries, our anger, our hurts, our disappointments and present them before the Lord.  Then lets ask God to show us his view on the subject and ask him to take care of whatever need we have related to it. 

Psalm 55:22 (NIV) Cast your cares on the lord and he will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RogNPTT2DDo&feature=related

Faith in the morning

I have spent this morning reading "Echoes of Mercy" by Nancy Alcorn. Its been so encouraging.  It amazes me as I read it just how faithful and good God is.  Its easy to forget how awesome God is in our day to day life.  But we can trust him supply all of our needs.  He is so creative about how he supplies our needs, we really can't set a formula for it.  I would encourage you today to take out a piece of paper, date it and list your needs.  Pray that God will answer your needs in his way and time.   I have done this so many times and it very helpful to look back upon it months later and see how faithful God is.  They don't always get answered the way I think they will, but his way is better.  Some of them I am still waiting for, but his timing is perfect.  I often get tempted to take things into my own hands.  My mom often calls me a Jacob, wrestling with God.  She advises me to learn now while I am young that God knows better than I do.  I agree but it is so hard to do!  So here is a major worry of mine that I have been trying to figure out in my power and wisdom.  I have no idea what to do with my life as a career.  At the age of 24 I am completely lost!  I feel like such a failure.   I have friends who are getting their masters degrees or married with kids.  Here I am starting at square one...... again! So I am lifting my concerns for my future career with God.  After all he created me for a special purpose and plan on this earth.  I am not a mistake.  Even though sometimes I feel he took the left over scraps of other humans and made me.   I am choosing to declare Psalm 139:13&14 over my life "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
I hope that verse encourages you.  God created you, and he will direct your path and provide for your needs along the way. Praise the Lord!